The focus on men as abusers of women and the blaming of men for nearly all of the problems of women is destructive to male-female relations as well as to the family. For if the buck is continually passed to men, then there is no possibility for a real resolution to a marital dispute. Resolutions can be imposed, but they do not last. A real resolution has to do with both sides taking responsibility for their contribution to a conflict, and both recognizing that they are capable of mistakes, excesses, and acting-out. This has been my orientation throughout this book.
Just as these writers misquoted statistics in order to make their point, many women misuse feminism to give themselves a moral advantage over their male partners. It is a way to control their husbands, make them wrong, and avoid real intimacy. Another related problem is that many men—especially those of the passive type—have become so convinced of the Tightness of feminism that they dare not do anything to displease their mate, and thus strive always to be politically correct. Even in bed! Often the result is marriages that are “correct,” but passionless. If everything must be controlled and correct, spontaneity goes out the window.
*220/196/1*
