The Sweetheart: Sweethearts seem to be trying to “sweeten” the disease away by overcompliance to any and all medical suggestions and requests. This same pattern continues in the marital sex, as they attempt to please their partner. “I have never turned him down. Even when I am sick as hell from the chemotherapy, I’ll still do something.” This wife reported a continued effort to be “nice” sexually and in every other way. “The doctor forgot what he told me about the medicine, but he is a very busy man. I am not his only patient. I understand.”
Research in healing indicates that such compliance is as potentially detrimental to coping with disease as is the unrelenting battle of the Hero. Providing sex as a favor, as an obligation to a partner, only serves to alienate the spouse, who in turn may pull away sexually. A balance between compliance and educated, modulated resistance to the disease process seems to be healthiest for any patient, and such a balance is promoted by a continued sexual interaction where there is alternating give-and-take. “I wish she would be a little nasty sometimes, you know. She is so damned sweet I almost feel guilty having sex with her.” This husband’s report points out the need for balance and what can happen to the spouse of the Sweetheart patient.
The Sweetheart patient puts herself or himself at risk. The medical industry can kill you if you fail to represent yourself, fail to ask questions and hold professionals accountable. Being obnoxious in the hospital or when you are being treated will not make you popular, but being too nice might get you ignored. Again, the issue is balance.
There are certainly many other forms of adjustment to illness. Try to understand how you are being ill, your sickness strategy, and you will learn much about how you might get well.
*268\97\8*
Every person asked this question had » very specific answer. Intercourse is not something we take lightly, even though we talk very crudely about it sometimes. Share your first intercourse experience with your partner. It will be difficult, but again a necessary step for super marital sex. Being happily married does not require the level of disclosure required on this test, but this book is a program for super marital sex, and for this, such vulnerability is necessary.
“I’ll tell you, it was crazy and quick,” reported the husband. “A bunch of the guys got together, got drunk, and went to this place. This woman was there. We all took a turn. What a wild time. I don’t know how I got it done.”
“Mine was after the prom,” said his wife. “I only remember my hoopskirt up in the air like som0 stupid tent. I couldn’t see anything.
To tell the truth, I don’t know if he ever really got in me. It might have been between the seat and my butt. I worried for weeks until I got my period.”
Clearly, these initiations to intercourse become “main roads” on our love map, and unless we study and learn from them, no detours to better routes are possible.
*94\97\8*
Soft sore or soft chancre produces a painful ulcer on the genitals.
The pain tenderness and soft feel of chancroid distinguish it from the painless hard chancre of primary syphilis. It responds well to tetracyclines and also the sulphonamides.
Granuloma inguinale or Donovanosis is rarely seen in temperate countries. It is endemic among the Aboriginals of central and northern Australia and is common around Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea. It has an incubation period of one to four weeks. It causes painless blisters or small papules on the skin of the genitals or thighs which then become raised and irregular and may break down and ulcerate. These lesions heal slowly and may leave marked scarring. Penicillin is not effective but the condition responds to the tetracyclines.
*597/71/1*