THE SEXUAL HEALTH EXAM: CAN YOU BE INVOLVED IN A MUTUALLY PLEASING AND FULFILLING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? THE SWEETHEART

Posted by admin in General health |
May 18th, 2009 |
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The Sweetheart: Sweethearts seem to be trying to “sweeten” the disease away by overcompliance to any and all medical suggestions and requests. This same pattern continues in the marital sex, as they attempt to please their partner. “I have never turned him down. Even when I am sick as hell from the chemotherapy, I’ll still do something.” This wife reported a continued effort to be “nice” sexually and in every other way. “The doctor forgot what he told me about the medicine, but he is a very busy man. I am not his only patient. I understand.”

Research in healing indicates that such compliance is as potentially detrimental to coping with disease as is the unrelenting battle of the Hero. Providing sex as a favor, as an obligation to a partner, only serves to alienate the spouse, who in turn may pull away sexually. A balance between compliance and educated, modulated resistance to the disease process seems to be healthiest for any patient, and such a balance is promoted by a continued sexual interaction where there is alternating give-and-take. “I wish she would be a little nasty sometimes, you know. She is so damned sweet I almost feel guilty having sex with her.” This husband’s report points out the need for balance and what can happen to the spouse of the Sweetheart patient.

The Sweetheart patient puts herself or himself at risk. The medical industry can kill you if you fail to represent yourself, fail to ask questions and hold professionals accountable. Being obnoxious in the hospital or when you are being treated will not make you popular, but being too nice might get you ignored. Again, the issue is balance.

There are certainly many other forms of adjustment to illness. Try to understand how you are being ill, your sickness strategy, and you will learn much about how you might get well.

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