ISD AND RELATIONSHIPS: TYPES OF DILEMMAS FOR DUAL-CAREER COUPLES – SOCIAL LIFE DILEMMAS AND INEQUITYSocial life dilemmas involve sacrificing personal friendships and “economizing” by restricting your social circle to mutual friends who are often part of your work world as well. This reduces potential emotional support from people other than your partner. As a result, your partner is sometimes responsible for meeting all your needs. Limiting outside relationships makes it more difficult to separate your work and private worlds. In addition, some friends and family members may become angry because you’re always “too busy” to see them.Inequity is what Andrea experienced several years ago when she was being considered for a prestigious position with a New York-based public relations firm. “I didn’t go looking for it,” she explained. “They found me and asked me to interview. I was really flattered. But the first thing Paul said when I told him was ‘You aren’t going to take it, are you? We can’t move to New York when I may soon be offered a partnership in the law firm.’ Then I knew for sure that no matter how equal Paul said things were, they really weren’t.” This sort of inequity in a dual-career marriage often creates conflict and causes the”less equal” partner to harbor resentments that can get acted out in the bedroom.*128\261\8*
ISD AND RELATIONSHIPS: TYPES OF DILEMMAS FOR DUAL-CAREER COUPLES – SOCIAL LIFE DILEMMAS AND INEQUITY
Social life dilemmas involve sacrificing personal friendships and “economizing” by restricting your social circle to mutual friends who are often part of your work world as well. This reduces potential emotional support from people other than your partner. As a result, your partner is sometimes responsible for meeting all your needs. Limiting outside relationships makes it more difficult to separate your work and private worlds. In addition, some friends and family members may become angry because you’re always “too busy” to see them.
Inequity is what Andrea experienced several years ago when she was being considered for a prestigious position with a New York-based public relations firm. “I didn’t go looking for it,” she explained. “They found me and asked me to interview. I was really flattered. But the first thing Paul said when I told him was ‘You aren’t going to take it, are you? We can’t move to New York when I may soon be offered a partnership in the law firm.’ Then I knew for sure that no matter how equal Paul said things were, they really weren’t.” This sort of inequity in a dual-career marriage often creates conflict and causes the
“less equal” partner to harbor resentments that can get acted out in the bedroom.
*128\261\8*
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