ISD AND RELATIONSHIPS: TYPES OF DILEMMAS FOR DUAL-CAREER COUPLES – SOCIAL LIFE DILEMMAS AND INEQUITYSocial life dilemmas involve sacrificing personal friendships and “economizing” by restricting your social circle to mutual friends who are often part of your work world as well. This reduces potential emotional support from people other than your partner. As a result, your partner is sometimes responsible for meeting all your needs. Limiting outside relationships makes it more difficult to separate your work and private worlds. In addition, some friends and family members may become angry because you’re always “too busy” to see them.Inequity is what Andrea experienced several years ago when she was being considered for a prestigious position with a New York-based public relations firm. “I didn’t go looking for it,” she explained. “They found me and asked me to interview. I was really flattered. But the first thing Paul said when I told him was ‘You aren’t going to take it, are you? We can’t move to New York when I may soon be offered a partnership in the law firm.’ Then I knew for sure that no matter how equal Paul said things were, they really weren’t.” This sort of inequity in a dual-career marriage often creates conflict and causes the”less equal” partner to harbor resentments that can get acted out in the bedroom.*128\261\8*
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ISD AND RELATIONSHIPS: TYPES OF DILEMMAS FOR DUAL-CAREER COUPLES – SOCIAL LIFE DILEMMAS AND INEQUITY
no commentsThe major elements of STD control, in addition to effective management of
individual patients, are:
expertise; education; expeditious contact tracing; and, evaluation of epidemiological data.
Expertise
Health authorities in each State and Territory conduct STD centres and clinics to provide an expert service. The centres and clinics generally offer free treatment for patients and provide health workers for contact tracing. They should have access to specialist services such as a gynaecologist, colposcopist, dermatologist and clinical psychologist.
Education
Education concerning STDs should be targeted at:
health care workers (medical students, medical practitioners, nurses, Aboriginal health workers);
high risk individuals (homosexual and bisexual men, prostitutes, intravenous drug users);
school students particularly at secondary level; parents; the general public; and patients and their contacts. Health authorities in States and Territories provide publications on aspects of AIDS and other STDs which may be useful to supplement or reinforce counselling.
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No prescription pharmacy, Viagra, Cialis and Levitra
Blood and body fluid precautions
Basic precautions should be taken to protect medical and other staff, including cleaning staff, from the risk of such infections as hepatitis B, HIV, herpes, syphilis and HPV. Needlestick injury is a particular hazard. Extraordinary measures are not required but, in addition to basic precautions such as thorough hand washing after examining each patient, attention should be given to:
wearing of gloves when examining patients; precautions against eye splashes; suitable techniques for blood sample collection e.g. use of vacutainers; care not to resheath, bend or break needles after use; safe disposal of syringes, needles and other sharps in rigid-wall puncture-resistant containers; and, safe disposal of infectious clinical wastes. Hepatitis В immunisation should be considered.
*10/56/1*
Dvpharm.com – Pharmacy information
THE HARMONIOUS COUPLE – CASES OF HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS (AL AND BETTY) 12-STEP PROGRAM
no commentsAl and Betty met in a 12-step program. They were both recovering from an addiction—she from alcohol, and he from marijuana. Both were also in psychotherapy, where they had spent a lot of time working through feelings connected with having been raised in dysfunctional, sexually and physically abusive families. As such, they had much in common from the start. In the beginning of their sexual relationship, Betty said she had the usual feelings of being sexually exploited. Al reported having the usual feelings of anxiety, which caused him to be impotent. Only after they had been to bed about ten times was Al able to become erect, and only after about twenty times was he able to have an orgasm. “It was like I had to thaw out,” he says. “We both had to thaw out and adjust to each other. At first she was just this beautiful female in bed with me. She could have been anybody. I was intimidated by her. Gradually, she became more familiar and more dear, and I relaxed.”
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The wife keeps trying to excite the husband until she finds something that works. Then she stops, smiles, and says, “Later. Your turn.”
He proceeds with his part of the experiment. “Does this excite you?” he asks, sucking her nipples. “Not really.”
“How about this?” Licking someplace else. “Not really.”
“And this?” Blowing in her ear. “Not really.”
He continues until he does find something that works, in the process overcoming his own blocks to wanting to please his wife.
When they have both found something that pleases the other, they begin the next phase—which is to mutually please each other. Again, they should conduct this phase with an attitude of scientific interest. Something may excite them for a moment, then cease to excite them. They must continue to adapt, continue to look for other ways, and never become hurt or annoyed or impatient. Eventually, they will arouse one another to a point where intercourse is possible. After intercourse, they should have a discussion about what they felt and why.
Incidentally: A variation on this game might be called “The Challenge.” In this version, the interested spouse challenges the uninterested spouse by saying, “I’ll bet I can arouse your sexual interest.” The uninterested spouse will of course gladly accept the challenge, seeing it as an opportunity to act out spite. Whether or not the interested spouse can win the challenge, this version can be used as a means of discussing the uninterested spouse’s spite and his or her need to resist sexual arousal (seemingly at all costs).
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The focus on men as abusers of women and the blaming of men for nearly all of the problems of women is destructive to male-female relations as well as to the family. For if the buck is continually passed to men, then there is no possibility for a real resolution to a marital dispute. Resolutions can be imposed, but they do not last. A real resolution has to do with both sides taking responsibility for their contribution to a conflict, and both recognizing that they are capable of mistakes, excesses, and acting-out. This has been my orientation throughout this book.
Just as these writers misquoted statistics in order to make their point, many women misuse feminism to give themselves a moral advantage over their male partners. It is a way to control their husbands, make them wrong, and avoid real intimacy. Another related problem is that many men—especially those of the passive type—have become so convinced of the Tightness of feminism that they dare not do anything to displease their mate, and thus strive always to be politically correct. Even in bed! Often the result is marriages that are “correct,” but passionless. If everything must be controlled and correct, spontaneity goes out the window.
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He guides her into the bedroom, which has been converted into the bedroom beautiful. It is bathed in hazy dimness, incense is burning, soft music is playing, and one pink light highlights the bed—which is covered with satin sheets. And what is that scattered lavishly on those sheets? Rose petals. Hundreds and hundreds of rose petals. The bed is covered from headboard to footboard with them. They are everywhere! Red, yellow, pink, and white rose petals.
“What’s this?” the wife may ask.
“Rose petals for my rose.”
“I can’t believe you. Where did you get this idea?” “Oh, from a silly little book I found at the bookstore.” “I want to see that book.” “Later. Let me help you off with your clothes.” “This is too much.”
The rose petals usually soften even the angriest heart—and when the heart softens, the body follows. The husband should sieze the opportunity to shower the wife with a very attentive and caring dose of lovemaking, doing the things he knows will make her happy. He can utilize the rose petals, grasping them in his hands and letting them fall on her breasts and belly button. He can do fanciful things, covering her eyes with petals and then kissing the petals. He can also cover parts of his own body with them. (In the event that the wife is so hard-hearted that even the rose petals do not soften her, the husband may use the occasion to discuss what this means about their relationship.)
For most, the lovemaking will be a revelation. After the wife has gotten over her shock, she may be surprised by the kinds of thoughts and feelings—ranging from fear to sadness to envy—that are aroused by the experience. The husband, by letting go of his own resistance, will likewise find that trying to please, rather than distance, his wife arouses new feelings in him. These new thoughts and feelings will lead to a new self-awareness and ability to communicate.
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She: “I’m looking at you, and I’m taking responsibility for my thoughts.”
He: “If I want the sex to work, I have to take responsibility for making it work.”
She: “If I want the sex to work, I have to take responsibility for giving myself to the experience.”
He: “I see you and I’m having sex with you.”
She: “I see you and I know you’re inside me.”
He: “My eyes want to stop looking at you because I don’t want to take responsibility for the sex.”
She: “My eyes want to stop looking at you because I don’t want to commit myself to you.”
He: “If I really love you and care about you, I will take responsibility for each sexual experience.”
She: “If I really love you and care about you, I will take responsibility for my own participation.”
He: “If I really love you and care about you, I will look at you and understand that sex is not just for the moment but is an act q{ reproduction that is eternal and may produce offspring.”
She: “If I really love you and care about you, I will look at you and really be with you while we’re having sex.”
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incidence: very common
cause: protozoan (Trichomonas vaginalis)
symptoms: genital itching, redness, discharge; often none in men
treatment: antibiotics
Trichomoniasis (“trich”) is an infection caused by a protozoan organism called Trichomonas vaginalis. It is a common sexually transmitted infection.
HOW COMMON IS IT?
Trichomoniasis is probably the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world. Each year, about three million women are diagnosed with the disease in the United States alone. A similar number of men are probably infected, but the statistics are available only for women, since it is they who usually have symptoms and seek health care.
Who is at highest risk? People are more likely to be infected if they have unprotected sex with multiple partners. The more sexual partners a person has, the higher the likelihood that he or she will become infected with trichomoniasis. In one study, trichomoniasis was found in about 5 percent of women on routine gynecological visits, in about 13-25 percent of women attending sexually transmitted disease clinics, and in 50-75 percent of prostitutes.
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There is no doubt that emotional and physical stress can have negative effects on the immune system, and many believe that stress triggers outbreaks of their herpes. Recent studies have shown that stress does not in fact cause frequent outbreaks; instead, those with herpes may become stressed as the virus is reactivating, possibly even before they notice symptoms. Then, when an outbreak occurs, they believe it was the stress that triggered the outbreak. However, it is often difficult to draw such fine distinctions between cause and effect, and techniques to lower stress do make herpes more manageable for most people.
Counseling may be helpful to deal with the emotional issues that many face when dealing with herpes. Regular exercise can reduce stress as well as provide other benefits. Setting aside adequate time for sleep and taking a break every day for relaxation (even as little as fifteen minutes) can also be helpful. Meditation practices, such as yoga and tai chi, have shown positive results for some people, not only in controlling herpes, but also in maintaining overall well-being. Biofeedback has shown promising results. Techniques such as respiration-based relaxation, guided imagery, and cognitive stress management may help to shorten herpes outbreaks, lessen their severity, and decrease the tension resulting from herpes outbreaks.
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